Ra’s Rants

Today is my aunt’s birthday! Thanks for being there! =) Happy Birthday!

Well, it is now 3 weeks in to school. Haha. Hmmm…it does not seem that different from worklife. However, that is only if u disregard studying. Haha. Crazy place…one lecture = 50+ pages of readings & a need to compile my own notes. With 3 tuitions and 3> trainings in a week, i think I am keeping good time, thats all. Well, after this sunday, I will slow my pace to up my speed later…there’s a lot of need to organize stuffs around to improve my time management. Haha. As of now, I like uni for because I have more ctrl over my life. More ctrl -> more freedom -> more room to explore. Haha. I really want more time still though, because there are so much things I really want to learn…windsurfing, copoeira,aikido,harmonica and learn by going overseas ->SEP,NOC and such. Yet, with so many things I am involved in now, its quite hard for me to balance things out. See how ba….4 years….=). I love the people I am knowing and have known, I promise to make more time for you guys! >.<

On a more nostalgic note, some of my friends are flying off. Of which, one is a decade-old friend that will be going London to do Law. All the best, girl! If you start a law firm, I can be a psychologist there to help you when you are stressed and QS can help with the marketing of your firm. =P There’s no harm in dreaming, no?

I hate being sad. Sadness drains my energy and disables me. Worse still, it dulls my senses. I just feel like sleeping only when that happens. How do I put it…

Argh…i dislikes army lar. It sort of takes away so many of my close friends. I know its childish but that irritates me to no end. All the adapting that has to be done, all the changes that has to come. &)*#$*)@3

=(, Bleh.

On the other hand, I must really thankss all the people who came down to support me during my bb grading. Woo! I was seriously stunned and touched by you all. A few of my juniors came, alot of my batch people came plus a few seniors. Last but not least, edison. Also, thanks to all the encouragements over the calls and messages I received. =) Thanks. I am glad that this happens though I did not spread the news. Thanks.

I guess this is life ba. Its kinda like a trade-off.=/

Dunno what am i talking about. =/

=/,=/,=/,……..

Well, I am updating again! Haha. This is the "zi high" sympton. LOL. So, feel free to ignore me. Anyway, I went out with a good friend today…he is one of my best buddies.I am really quite happy because I feel our connection is still there. =). I really feel happy after we went out. Haha. I am not sure how to describe this but its a simple kinda pleasure you get from going out with really really good friend. I think some people call it, "heart connection" ba. Haha. On hindsight, I am glad that the people around me are not just on the same frequency, the HC is always there. Thanks, guys. I will hate myself if I ever lose connection with you guys after I go off to UNI. I swear it on my heart, I will try my best to keep in contact with you guys. =). Be patient, I might not be around but I am always there. You guys know my number, call ba. =P.

True friends might grow up apart but never seperates

True friends might grow up seperately but never apart…<3

P.s: English can be so darned confusing. >.<

Haha. Its been a long time since I updated. Hmmm…I clocked a total of 24km of running, around 3000+ skippings and 5 tkd trainings for last week. And i was the one who said I would rest for June. What a joke. Anyway, I realised running is a good opportunity to run things through your mind and think about them. In other words, running can help us to relax a lot. However, sometimes, sad things have a tendency to lull your mind to operate in loops. That sucks. Anyway, this is only the beginning of my journey this year ba… With the National Poomse Tournament down(got a medal), I have three more obstacles to go. X) Though the stakes are significantly higher this time round.What can I say? I asked for it. Haha.

Hmmm…two funny things occured today during tourney. A gal from TP recognized me and said "hi" to me and we chatted. Sounds ok? Should be. The only problem was that I totally could not recognize her. I think…think la…she was one of those present during the last JJ-TP friendly match a long time ago. Ahh…wonder why did I leave such a deep impression on her. =X. Lol. Heads….

Anyway, during June, I am glad I managed to catch up with lots of people and bond with some others. I like the stability of my social circle now.In fact, I am quite reluctant to increase it. Haha. So in University, I am still thinking if I want to reach out to others or just be the stone others will notice every now and then. >.< See how la..It all depends on my mood then ba. But I want to join IVP. >.<

I love JJ TKD.I like the way our generation keeps on bonding with each other and this helps to build up the strength of the club. We might not be the best in terms of medals but the amount of efforts we put in to keep the club going despite many rather idiotic obstacles is undeniable. I am constantly worried about the new committee till I lost sleep over it during the june training camp 08. Haha. Boon is right though. I have passed out and now, as a senior senior, I am just waiting to expire. I cannot maintain this consistent worry on how they are going to pave their road to the future, they have to do the thinking someday, with or without guidance/scoldings/punishments. =) I have faith in them. <3

On the other hand, i am really happy that my new club is giving me so much opportunities. I will treasure each and everyone of them de. Likewise, I am really grateful to the people around me who have taught me the best they can - I might not be learning from the best but I am sure they are teaching me the best they can. That is enough for me. I will learn. =)

On hindsight, its really amazing to me how TKD can unify lives and add colours of so many complexity and depth to this blank canvas - life. Till today, I am still deeply impressed by the fusion of so many qualities (around 10 ba without taking account of physique requirements) that can occur in just a simple 3 minute sparring match. Even patterns are starting to take on new meanings to me. Haha. I wonder how real it is when I said, "Martial arts is part of my life but not my way of life yet."

Now, clara. Sleep. 

If I am going to stay in a hostel, my fridge/room will definitely have these:

1) Skipping Ropes

2)Running Shoes

3) 3 types of jellies

4) 2 types of fruits

5)2 types of fruit juices(preferably sunkist non-concentrated orange and one other)

5)Biscuits and Sweets

6)Nice novels to de-stress

7) My family’s members’ photos/TKD photos

BIG BIG teddy bear to hug/snuggle/nuzzle to at night

9)Star ornaments everywhere

10)Alarm Clock

LOL…think there are more things I like ba…haha, just not urgent enough to be added in at this moment.

Anyway, though of a interesting theory linking up emotions and music….And my piece will definitely ends like this: Whatever relationships are build up on, these should never be based on gratitude and past happiness. I acknowledge that these emotions are useful to prolong a relationship but never to substain one. Even if a relationship is to be prolonged for those reasons, only more meaningful events that happens thereafter can prolong and substain the relationship. That is to say, relationship should be dynamic and always evolving; No relationship should be a platform that is to bind but rather, a new portal that explores this miraculous connection between two.

Ah…now only if I am to express what I think about sadness and music. LOL

Happy Labours’ Day!

Alot happened the past few weeks but nah, I am not going to talk about them…this rendered the statement before kinda pointless…LOL. Anyway, my conclusive statement to myself is: I accept your challenge. Please make it a good one. If I am down, I will be up faster than ever. I will evolve to take you on and make you go down willingly. =). =P, my rebellious streak is always there like before, an undercurrent that runs beneath the more positive character on the surface. I guess that’s what makes me both scary and strong to people? The storm that is yet to be. Wow~, sarcastically. Haha. This is because I believe this side is always present in everyone. The only difference lies in its extent and the degree people are willing to show it out to either intimidate others or to face its horrors. I do both or either when time deems fit. Maybe,this is the result of having to grow up too strong too fast…Sometimes, I admire people who can be naive…naive, not stupid. Haha. This makes me appreciative of my friends that stick by me. They do not mind seeing this edgey part of me. I was like saying, "Hey, you know…Not everyone can stand this side of my character from me. I mean, I dun show it but you all are aware of its presence. But…instead of running from me, you choose to stick by me, help me to soften the edges. I am really grateful for that." Her reply, " Isn’t that what friends are for?" *Heart melts even more* Haha. Enought of my own ramblings ba. I was thinking, "carnage is part of beauty of life". Well, I dunno where I get that from but it feels true. LOL.

Its late. I needa sleep. Needa do 500 counts of skipping tmr morn. >.<. See ya~!

This anime impresses me alot in terms of its representation of love. I know what I want in love…I want to love so hard that it hurts to breathe even with the person close to you.

This song makes me feel melancholic for the times I used to dabble in poetry readily. I wonder…If I put my heart and soul to it again, will the words still flow from my mind, condensed with meaning and rhyme and rhythm in their own way. Haha.

I realise that I am so used to a hectic life that I find it hard and monotonous to sit down for a straight hour with nothing in mind to do….and tada~, I will enter Clara’s Hibernation Time! Haha. I still remember the times in JC that I will enter this mode whenever I am either thinking too hard or already know the content that the teacher kept repeating. Haha. Or else, it would be spill-over fatigue from running after studying in school till 10pm. Siao hor? =P

Hmmm, nowadays, I am still running but in two modes: long-distance or circuit. Long-distance wise, I can only do 20+ rounds which is around 6km ba. Haha. Often, I have to stop to go home and bathe and sleep in time or when my kneecap has some feelings (oops). Haha. Darned, I hope to be able to increase my no of rounds to around 35 by end of this year. Afterall, I did boldly declare to JX that after his army days, he will resume being my jogging buddy because, then, I will be able to jog with him for 10km. I guess I am looking for trouble because hey, he is getting paid to be trained physically in army afterall….Nevertheless, Clara has promised something: A promise is a promise…must die with no regrets! 4 km more only ma…not a lot la =_=U. Lol.

Also, next sunday will be my first training exchange session in Sanda. I scoffed at my own ability to win because I have learnt this for less than 3 months (rough gauge). However,my shifu seems quite confident in me. *glup* He told me that another gal refused to join the exchange after viewing me at my training. Why? To her,my kicks and punches have a lot of strength. Being Clara, I take with a pinch of salt. I am still not moving at the level of dexerity I have in mind. Darned, seeing how good edison’s kicks are only motivated me more. Waaa~ why shifu praise my punches (thanks to sir erying) but not my kicks!!! LOL. Darned, I sound greedy but afterall, I have been practising TKD, synonmous with kicks most of the times, for 4 years and places less emphasis on punches ma…=/. Haha. See how things progress ba.

Work-wise, I like the pace it is going. I will have more work coming soon (like from next week). One thing good about this job is that it is really cheap for me to take kayaking Star courses. Haha. All because I am considered under a staff under that company. Wooo~! My job is also enjoyable because of my boss’ kind considerations for my needs to take off- and half-days at times. Hehe…feels guilty about that though. =) Haha. I realised another thing today, all my tuition kids are boys and two of them are indians. Why dun I have any female students? LOL.

Hmmm…This week took away some of my guy-friends I will miss the most. Some of which I never thought I would miss… Haha. =) Its good to discover such humane feelings inside myself…some of which I thought I have lost touch with. On the same note, LEE PING, JUN ZHONG, etc, are you guys still on earth? I have not seen you guys for eons!!!

(Why did I decide to keep this blog as low-key as now anyway, its harder to find people by "shouting" out their names on blogs. Lol. Whatever.)

Haha. To end it off, though last week was quite a suay one. Those events are only a small part of the cosmic arrangement of my life. So heck, I am going to move forwards stronger and more aggressive than before. =)

Got back A’s results…mood went _III-. Haha, quite sianz. Nevertheless, it is good enough to put me among the top 72 pupils in my school. I am not going to complain
but since that also puts me among the top 1000+ people among all the jcs… I just feel like a survivor. Haha. Enough of that stupid ranking system…I am going to apply into NUS and NTU and wait in good faith. My mummy does not want me to apply to scholarships that will bond me. Haha. What can I say? She does know me well enough to see that freedom is a very important part of me. =) As such, I am going to work darned hard to make her proud. Maybe because I am too independent, I never like the idea of my parents having to support me at their own expense.I want them to enjoy life too. =)

Hmmm, work-wise. I have three jobs. Haha. I am a admin-assistant at NUS, working for a nice boss that I rarely see. He is only 22 wor. Haha. Also, I am teaching tution on the side; I realised it is profitable to specialize in subjects. Because of my strength in humanities, my most profitable assignment is at 25/hr. Haha. I am not complaining though. I am teaching quite well and I keep harping on the fact that I am paid that much to my tuition kids so they will work hard. =X. Thats like black-mailing but well….its for their good. Haha.Last but not least, I am working as a freelance team leader with combatskirmish. Woo~ that job is a different trial for me all together but I like. Haha. I seem quite busy but I am still not reaching my aim. =/. Jia you!

Due to my busy schedule, I am mostly in contact with my friends that are involved in the same activities - tkd and sanda. Haha. But to my assorted group of friends, no worries, you guys are still on my mind. =) I will keep myself extremely free from june onwards to play. Haha. >.<

Aiya, dun really know what to update le. Haha. But well, till next time. ja ne~!

PS: I will name my future daughter hoi sum so she must be a happy girl and my future son jun yong, jun as in the gentleman that one and yong so he is a courageous guy. =P LOL.

Mood: Affable

Haha. Life nowadays is somewhat predictable but nevertheless, not boring. I am holding two jobs now: one as an adminstrative assistant and the second being a tutor. As such, my schedule is pretty packed as it is with work. So, in addition to my martial arts classes and appointments with friends and families and myself, waaaaaaaa, i am so tired that i just feel like locking myself in a storeroom somewhere to let mushrooms sprout on me. Haha.

However, I am really a very lucky girl. Why? Hmmm… In my current position, the whole company, excluding the bosses, are my mentors. Each and very single one of them are willing to share their experience with me and teach me stuffs that I do not know. They are patient, logical and utterly reasonably. In addition, they are so generous! Since I have been there, I do not have to pay for my lunches or drinks at times. Haha. In fact, the HR executive in direct in charge of me even told me this, " Do tell me if you want to learn about accounting or other stuffs, I will ask him or her to teach you and you will help him along the way." and when I asked about lunching spots, she replied, "Oh! No worries, we will go out and eat together. Haha. I will not neglect you." True to her words, someone even drive us out to eat at times. Waaaa~ I feel so touched. So on my part, I open up my snacks compartments and share with them. Haha.

My tuition kids are also very cute; I think they are in love with me ba. One calls me "Mom" and they are all so enthusiastic in their lessons. The only clink in this job is that I find that the pay is too low for a job of this position. I guess I will try to negotiate with her and if we cannot compromise to a reasonable pay, I have to sayonara her le. LOL.

Last but not least, I guess I have improved slightly in TKD but the hardest part is the maintainence part. So well, JIA YOU! Haha. I am still waiting for the breakthrough that I desire though. Nevertheless, I am always grateful to have found so many friends through this interest along. As such, I am never alone on this journey. =). Love my bros and sis so much. Haha.

Okay. Have to go and do laundry and clean up my room le. Geez…I have a love and hate relationship with sunday. Bleh.